Belonging to something…

Someone asked me recently when my next Blog entry was going to come out…and I’m so embarrassed to say that it’s been as long as it has since my last one! I had thought it was going to be easy to be able to type something up everyday to explain my experiences, but I realize that it’s not as easy as it seems. Though, I must say, I probably do have something to say everyday…but it’s not always appropriate to publish.

Today, I’d like to talk about human nature. I spend a lot of time with people…either on the boat I dive for or more often, behind the bar where I tend bar for tourists off cruises. These people are not always my favorite and I hate to generalize, but cruises do tend to appeal to very close minded individuals with whom it may be very difficult to strike up a conversation to pass the time while they suck down a beer before moving on. I try to be pretty open and I do always start with the common question “Where are you from?” or “What do you do?” I try to keep the conversation focused on them though many get sidetracked as they try to figure out how I might have come to where I am today…asking pretty personal questions like “How much do you pay in rent?” or “When do you plan to return to the States?” or something stupid like “What do you live in?”…because the possibility that I might live in a house in Mexico seems foreign to them.

Regardless, I always walk away from many of these conversations with a general idea of these people’s lives and always with what group they seem to identify themselves with…”I’m a teacher.” or a “Mother”…or “an idiot who just wants to get drunk.” Whatever it is…everyone has to be part of something…it’s what gives them their identity, their reason to get up in the morning.

At one point in my life, I guess I “managed law firms” but felt incomplete with that title. I tried to fill my life with mundane tasks to give my life a fuller meaning…I worked out at the local gym…I read books…I hiked mountains and rode my bike through Central Park and did a LOT of traveling. Sure they were all ways to kill time between trips to my office, but did they truly define me? What is my definition?

Let’s play a game, how do you define a person? Is it what motivates them to get out of bed in the morning? Is it what brings a smile to their face as they are waking…maybe brought on by the person they share a bed with? Might it be their children? So I say we all need to be part of something…whether it be a relationship or a family or a community (whether it be religious in nature or up to no good)…we all need to be part of things that include other people who can provide feedback…ways to keep our behavior in check…to stop us from becoming completely self-indulgent individuals with no care for how others view us or how we make them feel. That would not be a cool way to be…We must all evolve with time dependent on our surroundings and the people in them. They’ve always said that People don’t know how to change but that Things change People. I wonder what will need to happen in order for people to stop feeling as though they need to belong to a group (good or bad) before they are able to find their identity…before they realize that an identity also needs to change along with the mundane tasks that a person does everyday to pass the time. No one should feel handcuffed to a routine or habit because they feel it’s their identity. Instead, they should recognize that being alive means being capable of change and with that change will only come progress, achievement and fulfillment…three things I’d love to be what defines me!

…now I plan to go back to Loving the Life I Live and Living the Life I Love.

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