All right everyone! It’s about that time! (Now those of you who know me, you may be used to this by now…but those of you who don’t…you may need to read up on some of my old posts to understand.) Anyway, it’s time for me to announce my next adventure. I know, I know…many of you think that I am planning to return to Cozumel to take up scuba diving again and biking on the beach. But I’ve kind of reconsidered.
Well, I haven’t reconsidered leaving Puebla…sorry to my many friends and family here, but I’m still planning to leave Puebla. But I need some place new and exciting to go to. Some place where I might be able to see new people and places that I’ve never seen before…and what better place for me to do that than for me to move to a city of 21.2 million people? I’m sure many of my friends here have already guessed my next destination will be Mexico City. Yeah!
Now I also can imagine what many of my friends are thinking right now: “How could you possibly want to live in Mexico City with all of those people?!?!” Well, I’ll have you know that NYC actually has a larger population than Mexico City, after you include all 5 boroughs (Bklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten Island & the Bronx). Crazy, right? And I don’t plan to move to downtown Mexico City! I have discovered two beautiful neighborhoods (both of which I plan to visit for a few days before I make this big move), where I believe I should be able to find a cute little place with a yard for me and my amazing dog.
But again, why Mexico City? Because I’m just ready to start something new again! I want to experience new things and have access to more culture. I want to not only visit more museums but also have easy access to more concerts and shows and restaurants and streets and parks, and subways to get me to them! I’m a city girl, so I certainly know how to take care of myself so I’m not worried there. And I just want to be swallowed up by another big city. I don’t want to “run into” people I know everywhere I go. [Of course, nothing beats the story of a fellow teacher at the American School (in Puebla), who spent a weekend in Mexico City 3 years ago and randomly met a guy who lived down the hall from me in Cozumel! (I mean, 21.2 million people…and what are the chances, right?!?!)]
Anyway…I want to wander and discover again and volunteer again and maybe take a class…and maybe just discover myself again. I’ve decided against pursuing a romantic relationship for a while still…I have too many demons…and I get that it’s hard to compete with the voices in my head. Instead, I want to meet more single, like-minded people like myself who also don’t feel as though a relationship is what would “complete” them. Of course, that may be the reason for half my problems…I never felt as though a relationship was the answer to anything or the destination in my life.
I used to blame NYC for my being like that…always something else to do around the next corner…another hobby…another adventure…another guy. But then I left NYC…6 1/2 yrs ago to be exact…yet I still have that itch. I still have that curiosity that has yet to be satisfied. Sure, scuba diving placated me for a while. I must have gone diving over 1k times while in Cozumel…and it never got boring. Everyday was like a new discovery…still diving the same reefs…but with them always feeling different…Palancar Caves will always be my favorite though! Reading also has placated me. I have discovered and read some amazing authors in the past 6 years!
But currently, I can not concentrate on anything! I am obsessed with finding my next adventure and destination…my next place to call home. And yes, maybe it will be the biggest mistake of my life! (God knows many people thought that when I told them I was leaving my life in NYC to go to Cozumel to dive for 2 years.) But maybe it will just be another new beginning that will lead me to some place else…or someone else. Or maybe just a new me. Maybe I will finally be able to shrug off my old baggage…really put it in my rear view mirror…except this time without me always checking to see if it’s still there. Maybe in Mexico City I will be able to just start again…again…and maybe not. I did recently read a book that did tell me how no matter where I go, I’ll always be there. I get that, believe me. But my thing is not for me to change…I don’t want to change! I’ve successfully discovered that I am the same person I was 20 years ago…and I’m just fine with that! But I think I need to live in a bigger place…a place where it’s actually OK for me to be me. And I’m hoping that Mexico City will be more of that place for me.
So Cheers! Cheers to all my friends who I miss dearly and who I have living all over the world now! Cheers to those who doubted me all the way back to when we were still in high school and college as they looked at my carefree, commitment-less life…and maybe feared for me…maybe they envied me my courage to leap off that next cliff…or resented me for the same reason. Maybe they feared that one day I might wake up and say, “Damn, what happened to my life?? Now I’m old and I’ve missed out on what everyone else had.” No chance!! While I do live by a code…and those of you who know me well and for a long time, may have thought my code was crazy and might leave me alone…to them I’d like to say that I’d rather be alone at this ripe old age of almost 42 than be with someone who does not stand for what I believe in or be friends with people who have broken my personal code of friendship. Because what I believe in…down to the marrow in my bones…is that the only thing we have to do in life…is LIVE!!! LIVE your life to its fullest…take the leap…the dive…don’t be afraid! Live everyday like it’s your last and do whatever it is that makes YOU happy. Because when we’re on our death beds…will you be saying, “I’m so glad I did that…” like me? Or will you be forced to say, “If only I had done that…”? You choose! And remember…
Life is not for the faint of heart…life is for living!