I meet with friends all the time…friends who may seem to be having a tough time at life at the moment. This may be because of a recent breakup or discovery about someone close to them in their lives…a recent failure or mishap that they feel could have been avoided. They may be at a cross roads and wondering in which direction to go or may feel as though they need to make a decision about an aspect of their life, right now, at this moment. And for some reason, they come to me for advice! Why?!?!
Yes, ok, I will agree, I have had more experiences in life than most and I’ve now lived in two totally, different types of countries. But I have made my share of rash, impulsive decisions about my life, which many believe must mean that I am brave (not wreckless…which is the word that I might have to agree with). But yet, I have no idea what my life would be like had I NOT made those decisions in life and I, of course, need to remember what needed to have happened in my life first, in order to cause me to make those rash and impulsive decisions to begin with.
And I say this, because my most common advice to these friends who are looking for direction is to wait, be patient, to not make any rash/impulsive decisions or say things they can’t take back…when I have never followed that advice in the past. (Of course, when I made my life decisions, I wasn’t asking anyone for advice or permission…I was rather just telling them what I was planning to do…and I didn’t really give a shit what they thought about it.) But more than once in my life, I have made the conscious decision to sit back, put my feet up and let life happen. I made that decision within the last few years I was living in the States…which ended with me moving to Mexico and I made that decision again about 3 months ago…when my mind was having me move all over the world without feeling as though it was truly the best decision for me. So instead of deciding to move anywhere, I decided NOT to move anywhere…and that has, most recently, made me relax and enjoy myself.
But I see my friends who are really struggling with dealing with different people in their lives…telling me what they “WANT” to happen and what they “NEED” to happen, in order for them to be happy. These “wants” and “needs” normally include the actions of a man who may have other things going on in his own life, which these friends of mine are not taking into consideration. And they are also not being open to the possibility that maybe being with these men is NOT what is ultimately best for them, or their well-being. They just can’t see that right now.
I try to pose the possibility to their consciousness…(and one in particular is a true believer that God has the best intentions for her) …I suggest that maybe they are closed-off to believing that the only path to happiness MUST include this man…but that maybe, what was intended was to show them, at this moment, that they are capable of loving but that maybe they were not meant to meet the man of their future until after they were able to prove that they could handle it…to both themselves as well as to the Universe who now will deliver the true object of their affection.
Personally, I have never “looked for” or necessarily “wanted” to be tied down by a relationship. That has never been my goal or sole objective in life. I’ve seen many women have dreams…and “any dick will do” when it comes to fulfilling their dreams. But their dreams only included the wedding, family, conventional traps that society has set up for them. But yet, they never seemed to think about what was the best thing for the man. I wonder how many of those women asked themselves how successful their “man” would be once these women had successfully tied them down, no longer “allowing” their men to go out with their friends or travel the world or dream about things that did not include a wife/family/house/blah…blah…blah…unless all of the above included them first.
I wonder how many men were actually considered when chosen to be the counterpart to this whole scheme/scenario…as women sit down and check off their list of items meant to fulfill their dream to make them happy…Man, check…House, check…Car, check…kids, check…annual family vacation to location of her choice, check…his friends all must be married to women she likes, check…pretty SCARY, right?!?!
I am now, obviously, mentally moving past these two friends of mine. But their stories lead me to walk down this mental path which began with them not thinking about what may not be best for them…(maybe they are meant to meet better men with a more promising union than what these most recent men were capable of providing)…but also, to ask themselves whether or not they were what was best for the immediate future of those men. Maybe, in the end, those men would have only resented these women for not having understood, from the beginning, that a relationship was just not a good idea for them, at this moment.
Again, I don’t know these men, I only have an opinion, based on the stories I’ve heard about them. But I know these women, and I only want the best for them…I just hope they are open to the possibility that, maybe, being with this particular man may NOT be what is ultimately best for them. So before they consider the fact that their life is over and they have nothing left to live for, they should consider the fact that what they should be doing is just looking forward…because maybe what is meant to be best for them, they have just not met yet.