Recently I visited a good friend of mine for Labor Day weekend. She has always been a super good friend who I feel as though I’ve been able to be vulnerable in front of over the years without feeling judged and with whom I feel as though she is able to be the same way with me. (We actually just realized that we’ve been friends for 10 years and we met during an event that meant so much to both of us in our own way.)
Anyway, the point of this blog is about what we may find “missing” in our lives. This friend of mine and I have been described (by many) as being fiercely independent… capable of being able to survive just about anything while alone. We’ve both spent a lot of time physically/emotionally alone…whether that having been a time in our lives when we were single or not…(as you know, we don’t have to be single in order to be alone). And we probably can both be described as being “displaced” from where we actually grew up, so maybe we both may have had moments when we felt the need to stand tall and flex our muscles. But we’ve both been through relationships since we’ve met where we both met a new person…lived with them…as well as separated from them…with the other one of us playing support or the shoulder to cry on.
We’ve seen each other fall off the horse as well as get back on…whether that having been within a new relationship…or just getting on with life after one kicked our butt! We’ve also both found ourselves disappointed by someone in our lives…someone who didn’t follow the rules of conduct that we find ourselves following so closely…if for no other reason than to be able to lay our heads down at night with a clear conscience. Overall though, she and I are really good at observing people as well as their tendencies…their habits…their beliefs…their behavior…and while we may react to them differently…we are both in-tuned to them.
But over the weekend, it was really interesting how we made the decision, out loud and in agreement, that regardless of our fierce independence and the strength that we possess within ourselves, we still want to share our lives with someone else. We’ve proven to ourselves, as well as to the world, that we can do it all alone…but it’s really nice to be able to do it all with someone else in our corner…someone to share it with.
While I have always been fine while single, (and again, still never having “looked” for it), because I’ve never actually felt lonely or “alone”…I could literally make friends with a lamp post if I had to! And I’m never bored or without anything to do or someone to do it with. But, I have to say, once you’ve been introduced to how beautiful the music of life can be when you are able to share it with someone else, it does suck when the music stops.