When I was in my 20’s, I had a good friend who practiced and believed in the power of Reiki. I used to listen to her as she attempted to perform Reiki sessions on me…whether it have been due to an issue I was having with the boyfriend I had at the time (he was a heavy drug user) or with a physical ailment I may have been having myself, she truly believed that her sessions would “balance” me. Of course, while I was in my 20’s, being as grown up and mature as I’ve always considered myself to be, I don’t think I was very “open” to whatever “cure” she was promising.
Now, 20 years later, I find Reiki in my life again. But for a different reason…now it’s for me to learn to help me to “balance” myself as well as those around me. A friend of mine just referred to me as being “antsy.” Is that what my problem is? Or, at least, is that the way the world perceives me? I want to be balanced…tranquil…calm…PATIENT! (Of course, me saying that in all caps probably doesn’t convey that I am ever capable of such an emotion or sentiment.) I tell myself that I am sitting back and letting life happen to me…to see where I end up. But am I really doing that or am I manipulating situations to not work out so that I have the excuse or justifications for my crazy, impulsive actions?
I have read a lot of important statements and texts while studying Reiki that have spoken volumes to me…one I’d like to note in particular. When discussing how our body is meant to feel during an attunement (which can last as long as 21 days), the text describes the actions as including feelings of detoxification (runny nose, headaches, diarrhea) but “there is no need to be alarmed as the body is simply flushing out the toxins, including stored energy such as beliefs and memories that no longer serve you.” Hmmmm…
What memories may no longer serve me? What beliefs might I have had that might be better left in the past? Do I believe that my memories are helping me or that my beliefs, based maybe on things that I no longer believe in, are serving me the way a “clean slate” might? But does that mean that I will lose my jadedness? My edge?
Wait, why is my having an edge still important? I’m not a 25 year woman looking to take over the world starting with the Legal Industry of NYC. I’m not someone who is still surrounded by those egotistical financial bankers of Wall Street against whom I need to protect myself with witty comments and smart ass remarks. And why would falling in love innocently, without any “baggage,” be such a bad thing?
Listen, we all have a memory…it is what helps us to live. But maybe it’s not a good thing to take out on your new love the things that your old love did wrong or the things your father/mother did wrong based on what their life was like or the things you may have seen a sibling do wrong to their significant other. Maybe…just maybe…equilibrium is defined as behaving how a person deserves based on their own past actions within the environment in which they are existing…finding a balance between your beliefs/memories and your opinions based on what that person has done to you.
We should all have a premise of the type of behavior we deserve to receive from others. If you allow someone to treat you poorly (either professionally or personally) then the longer you allow that to happen, then I believe the worse it will get. “Push back!” Advice from my company against my clients who tend to take advantage of my time. The same goes for the relationship you find yourself in (boyfriend/girlfriend/neighbor/cuz…whoever). Set up who you are and the type of treatment you are willing to accept from them and they will respect your boundaries.
If the Universe has taught us anything, it is the fact that people cross our paths at just the right time to teach us something about ourselves. Shows us what we are willing to do and sacrifice for the relationship you have with them as well as within your own realm. What are you willing to “put up with” vs. what you are willing to fight against and exactly where your boundaries are. Sometimes that means an uncomfortable conversation and sometimes it just means changing your habits and norms. And sometimes it may even include you proposing a new habit that you think you and that other person may also enjoy.
My point? I salute Reiki for potentially helping me sort out what is right for me and what may not be right for me; what serves me and what doesn’t. And for hopefully teaching me NOT to compare my current situation with any situation from my past. After all, I’m not the same person I was then so why should I be afraid to repeat the same mistakes I’ve committed before?
People have asked me…”Wouldn’t it be great to be 25 again?” My response: “No way! I’d hate to go back to not knowing what I know now.” But how cool would it be to be able to view the world now with the innocence and “clean slate” mentality I used to see the world? That I might be able to handle!