I’ve always considered life to be a journey…an endless one at that. I believe that we learn things everyday that allows us to continue to expand on our learning as we grow. I mean we all had to walk before we could run, right? Just like we had to learn to swim before we could dive.
But let’s look at the bigger picture. Sometimes it’s more literal than figurative, but don’t we all need to get burned before we know not to stand too close to the fire? Every relationship we’ve been in…we’ve walked away from saying: “NEVER AGAIN!” How much you feel like you’ve poured into a relationship and then be left with nothing in your life…all that hard work, gone.
And then every once in a while, you get struck by lightning. I have got to be honest with you, I was perfectly happy living my life without that strike of lightning. I knew that I had never really been with anyone who both got me…and who was attractive to me. I have found myself in many casual friendships or platonic relationships with men who have read me like a book…and what a shame since I’m not into that guy at all.
Then of course there were the relationships where you had this guy who you were in love with…or thought you were…until you realized he never knew you at all…which means you never knew him since all your actions had been based on the fact that the feelings were mutual…when clearly they were not.
You continued to get disappointed in life…by the partners you kept hanging your life on…only to find out that they were not on the same page as you…or even in the same chapter (while some would swear he and I were in different books entirely!).
Not a month ago, my friend can tell you, that I said that I was satisfied with the men I had been with in life and that I was completely fine knowing that I had never met my soul mate. I knew that I had been with men who had, I want to say “completed” me. But there was no soul connection. Never did I feel as though, he gets me…no need for me to have to explain myself. (I swear that I spent many of my relationships constantly trying to explain how I was feeling while so many men looked at me like I had three heads.)
To the point where I literally just gave up. I have always hated to repeat myself…and if you know me…which I know many of my readers do…then I know you know how little patience I have for people who can hear me, but who are clearly not listening. If I ask another man “What are you thinking?” to only be told, “Nothing”…I might puke!
I don’t consider myself to be needy, don’t even need someone to hold my hand…God knows I survived 35 years in NYC, 3 years of diving to 300 feet in the Caribbean and the past 4 years in Puebla, which was more of just a spiritual journey from where it was that I came from. I think I always knew, since I arrived in Puebla over 4 years ago, that I was never going to leave here. This city has everything I need…amazingly deep, passionate people who I adore and would never leave behind…great restaurants, museums, concert halls, biking and running paths in gorgeous parks and incredible weather! Not to mention the vistas of the four volcanoes surrounding the city.
But is it too much to ask for me to find someone who speaks my language? (And I don’t mean English!) But just someone who gets me. Someone who remembers what a rotary phone was or having to get up to change the channel on the T.V….someone who played outside with his friends and who got lost before we had GPS units…someone who also grew up cheering for the under dog…I had given up the idea of my ever being able to find someone who might actually understand me.
And then..BANG…I was struck by lightning…