When I was a kid, I imagined my life to be filled with adventures for me to share with my family…traveling, activities that everyone would love doing…if for no other reason than just because we were doing them together. I never really considered my life to be void of other people. I’m a huge fan of people…I could literally make friends with anyone…even if we spoke different languages.
I have always imagined that I would be able to live my life comfortably, as far as finances were concerned. I would never need a mansion or a chauffeur…just a way for me to get around (which right now is for me to drive around in my newly purchased used 2016 Jeep Patriot…which I LOVE!) and a comfortable place for me to live.
But regardless, I never wanted life to get complicated. If I chose to go on a trip…I wanted to be able to just go…without having to worry about money or “vacation time”…or who was going to watch my dog while I was away…or who might feel bad because I was leaving them behind.
I also wanted to have someone who just wanted to travel with me. Again, back to that…I don’t care where we go or what we do…so long as we do it together, then it will be fine. I’m open to do anything…and I just hope that the person I’m traveling with will always be able to even make a bad time…better!
Recently, a good friend warned me against getting lost in another relationship…forgetting about what my “plans” and priorities were. When I seriously asked her, “What were my plans?” which she’s afraid I’m forgetting about…and better yet, “What are yours?” and we both laughed…because we seriously don’t know how to make plans. I love my life…I’ve always loved my life…until a few times when I’ve felt stagnant…which just made me…well, let’s see, change countries, walk away from serious relationships or swap apartments. I always say, If you are ever unhappy in the life you have, then just change it…so I did!
This friend then asked me if I was forgetting about what made me happy? Well, let’s see, I love running, doing yoga, working, reading and spending time with people I care about…over lunch, dinner, drinks…which I’m still doing. I’ve recently told a man that it’s not just about completing each other, it’s also about adding to each other’s lives that I want. And he agreed he wanted the same thing. I don’t need someone to complete me anymore…maybe that comes with age. I’m 42 and I’m complete. But if I find someone who can add to my already thrill-seeking adventures that I’ve always enjoyed, then please come right in or jump on!
I want a companion…a friend…a lover…someone to laugh with every night…someone to share my life with…someone I look forward to seeing…someone I can respect.
Many of you may have read about my recollections from a group I did volunteer work with before I left NYC. It was a tough experience both for me and my fellow volunteers as well as the residents we worked with. But I’ll always remember one of the first sessions we had with these women where we would sit in a circle and hold hands, close our eyes and the leader of the night would instruct everyone to imagine that they were sitting in a grassy field at age 8 or 9 with their whole life in front of them. She would then ask, “What do you want to do with your life?” She would go on to ask, Where did they see themselves as an adult back when they were only 8 or 9 years old?
That always affected me so much because no one had ever asked me that question before. I had never asked myself that question before. I now look out the window at the clear blue sky I see out my window everyday, at this beautiful church super imposed over a huge volcano…as I listen to the radio and passing traffic, with my adorable dog sitting next to me, looking up at me as I type with these big loving eyes just for me…and I say that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. I have plans to go running later…a birthday celebration tomorrow night…a flight to Florida in less than two weeks to share four days with two of the most important people from my life in the States…I have tons of friends who I am constantly sharing time with…never feeling alone or bored…and I have to say that I have personified the dream I’ve always wanted for myself. I’m sitting here in a tank top, flip flops…about to walk across the street in beautiful sunshine weather to sneak a cigarette with my post-lunch coffee…before returning home for a nice yoga workout…and who knows what else.
So I will ask myself that question again: What did you used to want? And what do you want now?
And I will have to say that I’ve always just wanted life to be fun…simple…happy and shared with those who wanted the same. It is just that simple! I love the life I have and I live the life I love. It really can be as easy as that! Don’t get caught up in the little things in life that might stress you out…instead, embrace them as the small examples of the imperfections that must exist in life to prove that nothing really can be perfect. And then just live!
Ciao for now…and please feel free to share any comments below! I love to hear from my readers!