When I was young, my mother used to tell me that whatever I wanted to do or wherever I wanted to end up, depended on me. Well that’s all fine and good, so long as that it’s not dependent on anyone else. I keep hearing stories of people who were all set up to have a family…wife…children…and then circumstances happened and they lost everything. Married and ready to have children…only to find out that they can’t get pregnant. I hear about people who are laid off from their jobs…hence losing the income they had grown so accustomed to with little hopes of obtaining the same dependable job and income they had. What about the real dreamer? The big house with a pool and the fancy cars they always wanted…with only the capabilities to fry burgers.
Now what? Do they throw a tantrum? Cry about what they’ve lost or never gotten that their dreams promised them or do they start all over again? Are they young enough to learn a new skill needed to make them as employable as they once were or as successful as their BIG dreams require them to be? Do they find a new girlfriend/boyfriend and just hope that new person will fill the shoes of the person who they lost? And what about the children they have? Will they understand as they grow up in a broken home that can’t be blamed on anyone except circumstances?
How relevant is a tantrum after a certain age? Can the rest of the world understand why you’re feeling down in the dumps? Absolutely! But let me tell you something, the world is not going to cry with you. As a matter of fact, eventually the world is going to get tired of listening to you bitch about your circumstances…circumstances that they are probably envious of anyway (because that is how the world thinks).
The only advice I can give you is…1…you’re not alone, we all have shitty days, shitty months and many of us end up in shitty circumstances and 2…If you think your life sucks, compare it to someone else’s for a second. If you’re single, with beautiful children living with a spouse? Be grateful that you have the children when you see couples breaking up because they can’t get pregnant!
If you’re single because every relationship you’ve been in has turned into a nightmare while you’ve found yourself paired with another douchebag…then be grateful you’re single…who wants to be in that relationship anyway?!?!
You still can’t afford that big house and pool? Be grateful you have some place to live at all and food on your table! Feel like you can do so much more with yourself? Then take a class and start a new career! And the same goes for the many people out there who find themselves pigeon-holed on a career path that is not hiring anymore. It SUCKS! I know it does! But we are humans who must evolve! We must change with our changing circumstances in order to survive. Survival of the fittest means exactly that!
Keep rolling and adapting as the world changes…as your circumstances change…as your desires and needs change…as well as those with whome you may have had children with 15 years ago. That’s a long time…people change in time like that…did you stay in sync with your partner to make sure that you changed together? Or were we all so selfish as to imagine that someone else’s desires might actually alter our own living conditions?
I can tell you that 15 years ago, then I was only 27 years old…the thought of my mother dying was foreign to me…the thought of my leaving NYC never entered my mind…as a Business Student working to get my Master’s Degree part-time while working for this amazing law firm…I never imagined ever being anywhere else than where I was at that moment. I had a healthy social life…friends from work…friends from school…my family was always there. I had not realized I needed to ask that nothing change…no one is allowed to die on me! No one is allowed to leave me and my existence! We will be friends forever…how many times did you say that to someone as a child? How many times did you imagine yourself living with your BFFs living next door to you while they had children who would grow up with yours? You just think Mom will always be there to help you and she will of course love your husband, right? And your house will be perfect without anything out of place with the perfect vehicle in the driveway…and that tree growing in the backyard sprouting dead presidents. Who doesn’t plans for that?
Life never happens how we imagine it might. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been too impulsive and careless with my life to ever allow things to just follow that straight line to that place. But I still make the best out of every single day in my life! Yes, my mother died and left me before helping me find a husband, raise children, pick out that perfect house…IT SUCKS!! So what do I do? Do I stamp my feet and cry out to the world how unfair my life has become? Or do I just keep rolling with the punches and keep my chin up because while many people would not choose my life as where they’d like their lives to end up…I’m still convinced that it’s really not so bad in my life…as I watch the rest of the world complain about their spouses, children, families, jobs, “small” houses and “crappy” cars…instead of being grateful that they have them.
Having a chance to travel to a different place each month from now until the end of the year…due to my own life circumstances…I am seriously not complaining as I think about all of the people in my life who I will be honored enough to share those times with. Something to look forward to while I just keep wondering why I never told anyone what it was that I had wanted…or maybe because I just never knew. I was always just so focused on my present moment that I never spent anytime looking at what I may never have or be able to achieve. So instead, just focus on enjoying that I have now…appreciate who is in my life now…now who used to be…or who one day might be…but rather who I have now is what is most important to me…now and forever.