I recently read a post on Instagram that was kind of strange. It read:
Travel and tell no one,
live a true love story and tell no one,
live happily and tell no one,
people ruin beautiful things.
Is that really how we have become? I have been having some really good days lately. Things have been flowing smoothly for me…with a nice quick trip away and a nice upcoming trip, I am actually excited, like a child with a new toy. But when I read this post on Instagram, it made me feel bad.
When I was a child, my grandfather taught me to be superstitious against people. He taught me not to brag (something I never do anyway!) and not to talk too much about the things that are going well in my life, for fear that someone would wish badly for me. That is kind of what that post is saying, right? I would like to believe that those who I may have shared some of my good fortune with would never wish badly for me, but maybe it’s more at an unconscious level?
My biggest fear, to this day, is the jealousy of another person. Maybe this is inline with what my grandfather was teaching me to be wary of, too. I want to believe that the only people in my life are those who would only be happy for me…only be excited with me during this moment of peace and tranquility. (Two things the voices in my head were not allowing me to have a few months ago.)
Last week, during that quick trip away, I was able to go shopping for a bathing suit. And the sales woman was very friendly (as most Americans tend to be)…she was chatty about my tattoos…what brought me to where I was…simple small talk. And I made a comment about being excited about how easily I was able to find that bathing suit…and she stopped what she was doing to say, “You only deserve the best, my dear.” Um…ok…strange coming from a complete stranger, right?
Do you believe in the stars? How sometimes the planets and stars are just not aligned right for us to be able to find that peace and good fortune we’ve always known was there but keeps slipping away? Well, I’ve begun to believe in it. And it’s not about getting up on the right side of the bed or freeing yourself of the chemicals you’ve become addicted to…it’s more than that. It’s about who you happen to meet each day…what circumstances have to pass in order for things to fall into place. Take the time to reflect versus rushing to fit more into your day than is possible…take the time to care for yourself and your needs than you used to.
There have been so many people and relationships (friends and boyfriends) that may have stayed longer in my life than most would have suggested. But I am so grateful to everyone who has been in my life…at whatever status…for what they have taught me and for what they brought to my life. Both good and bad…having taught me the lessons I may have missed.
Now I’m just trying to open myself up to someone new…someone who knows he was too trusting in the past with others and so needs to be more wary moving forward. I find it to be a challenge to get someone new to trust me while trying so hard to get myself to trust him as well. But do we use the same standard with the men we date when determining how excited about things we become in their presence vs. being excited in front of a woman for whom life may not be passing as easily? Shouldn’t we be more authentic with them men in our lives than we’ve been to our friends and acquaintances?
I look at my friends…of all ages and from all walks of life…and while I only want them to be happy in their own lives…I don’t want any of them. I am pretty happy with how my life turned out and where I now find myself (though that is just geography). I believe that so many (SO MANY) things had to have happened in order for me to now walk the life I have and I am so SUPER grateful to all of them…good and bad!
So PEOPLE…when you hear about something happy and exciting happening in someone else’s life, if you are not happy and excited with them and for them…you should NOT be friends with them. Or you should change your life to start bringing you the happy and giddy excitement that mine brings to me. We are all allowed to have bad days, but if you can not truly be happy for a friend’s good fortune…do both of you a favor and just walk away!
It’s time to have faith in yourself and “Love the life you have, and live the life you love!”