Who do you tell?

I recently received disturbing news about my health.  Was I surprised?  Not really…though I had thought that news would just have happened later in life.

This past year has been quite the whirlwind for me.  After having lived in Mexico for the past 8 years, I returned to NYC to return to the career I had left behind as the person that Mexico had turned me into.  I returned to the city where I had been born and raised, looking through the perspective of someone who had lived in a third world country and learned the importance of certain things in life.

I was easily able to find an apartment with four roommates…one of whom became my best friend and lover.  Our relationship surprised us both as I think the changes that each of us have gone through in our own lives have as well.  I was also easily able to return to the industry in which I worked for 10 years – though not to the same position – certainly to the position I chose.  And it is there where I have forged such amazing relationships with one of the most eclectic group of women from all age ranges and parts of the city than you could imagine.

Initially, upon my return, I didn’t necessarily advertise all over the world (via Facebook, since that seems to be how word tends to get out these days) that I was back in the city.  I did reach out to half a dozen of my old friends – all of whom seemed to have been married and had children while I was in Mexico.  And nothing against any of them – I still love them all to death – I just felt bad to propose plans w/any of them that might take them away from their families and loved ones.

Unfortunately, it was the same story with various members of my family as well.  So many things happened and were said while I was away where members of my family accused me of being away as a reason for me not “helping them” or, as they put it, me being irresponsible to my life and responsibilities.  Needless to say, some of those family members still don’t know I am back, and I’d like to keep it that way.

eating-healthyRegardless, what I am going through, physically, will result in my having to change my diet, whether or not I drink – obviously smoking is now out of the question, exercise will now have to be a regular part of my weekly/daily habits – no longer just a chosen past time.  HANG ON ONE SECOND!!  What does this mean???  Every time I go out to eat or I choose an evening activity – am I now going to be forced to mentally review all of the blogs I’ve recently read, and tips shared with me by my doctor to see if I am being safe or if I am choosing to live outside the guidelines recently set up for me?

WOW – is that what my life has turned into???  Does that mean that I now have to start dictating what I choose to do in the company of other people?  Do I now need to start being the one who dictates what we do and not do?  Essentially, will I now be deciding for them what they are doing or not doing with their time?   Then maybe I shouldn’t ell anyone about my diagnosis – which may cause them to maybe NOT want to hang out with someone with so many limitations on their life.  I have no doubt that the man in my life, my best friend who I’ve begun to lean on a bit, loves & adores me – but will he feel as though we have to sacrifice being cool or being the life of the party as I choose to not drink and as I choose to suddenly prefer to eat at home where I can choose ingredients that I have NOT read might increase my risk?

Neon jazz cafe with live music and saxophone glowing sign on a dark brick wall background.
Neon jazz cafe with live music and saxophone glowing sign on a dark brick wall background. Glowing street signboard of bar with karaoke and blues singers. Vector illustration.

So, I stop and ask myself – what do we both love & adore?  The answer is quite simple =>MUSIC!  Live music, if we can find it.  I mean, we just moved up to Harlem – where, some would say, is the MECCA of Live Jazz and the home of the beginnings of careers to historical performers we have only read about!  And of course, with music, comes dancing!  Am I capable of dancing without having a drink in my hand?  Of course, and probably better because then I don’t have to worry about spilling my drink!  Ha!

Am I afraid that I am going to become a bore to be around?  Yes.  Am I afraid that my life will turn into something too boring to live?  Yes.  Am I capable of embracing this new diet & lifestyle of yoga and tennis and exercise to wow the world when they see me turn into the healthiest version of myself that will now turn to discovering new activities that can be enjoyed without drinking and smoking and processed foods and all those things that have become so common in our lives?  I want to say: FOR SURE!

Starting my day off with fresh juice and some chia seeds has always been my thing; avocado toast on the side.  And while this may not have been enough, it is still a staple to how my day will start.  Nuts and staying hydrated are two more things that can be added to continue staying healthy & alive.  Fish is not bad to eat regularly – I hear those high in Omega-3 are good to use to replace items such as ribs and steaks.

Will I miss indulging on meals like that?  Of course!  Will I be sad when forced to eat a Chilean sea bass or lobster tail instead?  Not so much!  (Steakhouses know how to treat their seafood!)  It is how we evolve and prove we are the superior mammal on this planet.  As we prove how capable we are to survive as the fittest & how we not only live to fight another day – but also how we can appreciate a better quality to our lives.

asIs my life about to change?  Without a doubt!  Does the life of my friends & family have to change as well?  Not at all – I will never be the “holier than thou” type who would ever try to teach or change anyone.  But if any one would like to join me in becoming a healthier version of themselves, then I am willing to slide over & share my salmon and grains and nuts with you any day!  And if not, no worries, just please step aside to allow me to do what I can in order to make my life worth living while enjoying the little things in life that give it the quality I need.

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